Just an opinion: Episode 3- “How to stop thinking about what others think about me?…”

Disclaimer: This post might be a bit rude, please feel free to not-comment negative things.

Hello everyone! Welcome to the 3rd episode of Just an Opinion! I’ve really had so much fun doing this, but this week onwards I’ll try to speed up and finish all my entries as soon as I can, so that it’ll give way for newer, fresher content.

Today’s entry is by a lively blogger, an IRL friend and a fellow BTS army. She asked me to keep her name private, which I think was a joke, but she signed up for promoting her blog. She runs a Blog called Yours Aarya Mali, which is a personal cum lifestyle blog, as she said in her entry. Go to her blog right now! don’t forget to come back.

Hmmm… I started this blog to express my thoughts and just HAVING FUN! I’m passionate about writing and that’s the only reason this blog is alive. Also, this space is created for crackheads like me- I hope we create a place where you and I could laugh together! So be ready for all the stupid and dumb posts coming up! Byeee mah lovelies-

Aarya, author of the blog Yours Aarya Mali

Well now you know her name. Anyways, here is what she has to say-

How to stop thinking about what others think about me? or let’s just say, How to stop being insecure about my work, and ME!

I have no one way to begin with this post. Because the statement poses such a complicated issue.

But, I feel I’m brave and I can do this.

But wait, what if I’m judged?

What will people think about me if I begin the post like this?

Will people like this?


See what I did there? I showed you a live example of what being insecure is. So the problem shared by Aarya is real, and present. How often have you thought, “would they like the dress?” or “I don’t think they’ll like it”? How often did YOU like it? Now, while writing this, I might go too extreme, so bear with me.

Let me write this from an Indian perspective. In the real society, there are unsaid norms that everyone should follow. Every Gender has different rules. Whether it be about toxic masculinity or shadowed femininity. I get it, times are changing, but if you step out of the norm, you’d bring notice and the word would spread around the entire town. Though not faster and uglier than before, things matter even now.

Such suppressed circumstances lead to what we call insecurity. For example, I feel insecure while wearing sleeveless tops. Nobody ever objected me about it, but then I feel strange. Not gonna lie, I do question what would people think. (I’m trying to change that.)

But it is difficult to live underneath this pressure. Like hello, when are you going to do things you like? You don’t wear short dresses but you like them, you can’t cry when you want to, all because you’re not supposed to?

See, nobody wrote these rules and nobody really finds anything objectionable, but it’s the way they talk. While “people” gossip, they pick up these topics. But they do forget. I hear the regular gossip queens talking such things, “You saw her clothing? She has such a bad taste.”

First off, it is really icky to backbite, especially about someone’s taste. When something is genuinely wrong, you can talk. But passing comments? Stop it before I throw a chappal at you from the screen. (chappal is something we say in India for a piece of footwear, for all non-indian readers.)

Second, them commenting is not going to change anything. Everyone doesn’t have a similar taste and it is okay. Wear what you like, do what you want.

The best way is to take off this fake social pressure. Ignore it. When your life flashes before your eyes, do you want to see all boring social norms you followed for impressing someone or do you want to see exciting things you did? So simply, walk it off. PEOPLE WILL FORGET.

In the end, what matters is your satisfaction. If you’re too insecure about your work, you should take that leap of faith. Jo hoga, dekha jaayega (a small phrase in Hindi which translates to “whatever happens, we’ll take care of it”). Even if the feedback you receive is harsh, but true, try to take it in a constructive manner. But put it out. Your work might be something valuable to someone else, and importantly, you.

I hope I provided some value to your time, because that’s all I have to say today.

And what makes me qualified to write this post? Well, I am not afraid to put this post out, though I know I have jitters. But you’re still reading this aren’t you?

Signing off,

Divi.