Just an opinion: Episode 3- “How to stop thinking about what others think about me?…”

Disclaimer: This post might be a bit rude, please feel free to not-comment negative things.

Hello everyone! Welcome to the 3rd episode of Just an Opinion! I’ve really had so much fun doing this, but this week onwards I’ll try to speed up and finish all my entries as soon as I can, so that it’ll give way for newer, fresher content.

Today’s entry is by a lively blogger, an IRL friend and a fellow BTS army. She asked me to keep her name private, which I think was a joke, but she signed up for promoting her blog. She runs a Blog called Yours Aarya Mali, which is a personal cum lifestyle blog, as she said in her entry. Go to her blog right now! don’t forget to come back.

Hmmm… I started this blog to express my thoughts and just HAVING FUN! I’m passionate about writing and that’s the only reason this blog is alive. Also, this space is created for crackheads like me- I hope we create a place where you and I could laugh together! So be ready for all the stupid and dumb posts coming up! Byeee mah lovelies-

Aarya, author of the blog Yours Aarya Mali

Well now you know her name. Anyways, here is what she has to say-

How to stop thinking about what others think about me? or let’s just say, How to stop being insecure about my work, and ME!

I have no one way to begin with this post. Because the statement poses such a complicated issue.

But, I feel I’m brave and I can do this.

But wait, what if I’m judged?

What will people think about me if I begin the post like this?

Will people like this?


See what I did there? I showed you a live example of what being insecure is. So the problem shared by Aarya is real, and present. How often have you thought, “would they like the dress?” or “I don’t think they’ll like it”? How often did YOU like it? Now, while writing this, I might go too extreme, so bear with me.

Let me write this from an Indian perspective. In the real society, there are unsaid norms that everyone should follow. Every Gender has different rules. Whether it be about toxic masculinity or shadowed femininity. I get it, times are changing, but if you step out of the norm, you’d bring notice and the word would spread around the entire town. Though not faster and uglier than before, things matter even now.

Such suppressed circumstances lead to what we call insecurity. For example, I feel insecure while wearing sleeveless tops. Nobody ever objected me about it, but then I feel strange. Not gonna lie, I do question what would people think. (I’m trying to change that.)

But it is difficult to live underneath this pressure. Like hello, when are you going to do things you like? You don’t wear short dresses but you like them, you can’t cry when you want to, all because you’re not supposed to?

See, nobody wrote these rules and nobody really finds anything objectionable, but it’s the way they talk. While “people” gossip, they pick up these topics. But they do forget. I hear the regular gossip queens talking such things, “You saw her clothing? She has such a bad taste.”

First off, it is really icky to backbite, especially about someone’s taste. When something is genuinely wrong, you can talk. But passing comments? Stop it before I throw a chappal at you from the screen. (chappal is something we say in India for a piece of footwear, for all non-indian readers.)

Second, them commenting is not going to change anything. Everyone doesn’t have a similar taste and it is okay. Wear what you like, do what you want.

The best way is to take off this fake social pressure. Ignore it. When your life flashes before your eyes, do you want to see all boring social norms you followed for impressing someone or do you want to see exciting things you did? So simply, walk it off. PEOPLE WILL FORGET.

In the end, what matters is your satisfaction. If you’re too insecure about your work, you should take that leap of faith. Jo hoga, dekha jaayega (a small phrase in Hindi which translates to “whatever happens, we’ll take care of it”). Even if the feedback you receive is harsh, but true, try to take it in a constructive manner. But put it out. Your work might be something valuable to someone else, and importantly, you.

I hope I provided some value to your time, because that’s all I have to say today.

And what makes me qualified to write this post? Well, I am not afraid to put this post out, though I know I have jitters. But you’re still reading this aren’t you?

Signing off,

Divi.

Getting out of my hole of procrastination (again)

Hello! I have been so irregular with the blog. Guess why? I chose to procrastinate over this. My apologies, again.

So, I’ve been sinking in the hole of procrastination again. At this point of time, I’ve realized something. It’s only natural to do this. Procrastination was meant to happen, to deviate our minds. It’s just like another piece in a chess game.

But how I got out of it, it’s a long story.

So it began this way. In the Xmas holidays, I sorted out my life. I reoriented myself to work towards my goal(s). I began to be organized, I started with the so called “perfect life”. But then after I recovered from covid early January this year (I know, such a bad start for a new year), I started using this excuse of “recovery” trauma.

I binge watched series and films, because I was “recovering” and I needed to feel good.

I did art stuff to make me feel good.

I inclined toward pleasure, because I had “trauma”.

And…I lost focus in practically every single thing I did.

After I realized I was being too much of a master procrastinator, I hatched a plan.

  1. I would finish a chunk of work
  2. Watch whatever I was watching
  3. Get back to my work
  4. repeat.

This was a good system when I was watching something very gripping. Like a series or a film or reading a very interesting book. Let’s say, finish 10 long history essay type questions, get 10 minutes of watch/ reading time.

It is very efficient, until I discovered a loophole. When I traded every history question for a minute of leisure, I sometimes, you know, extended it. Like 10 questions= 20 minutes of procrastination.

The starting, goes smooth, but long term, well, back to day 1. So, I figured a better way.

We’re humans, and as good as we can be while being stubborn, we also tend to get deviated. So, an atmosphere where there can be no possible distractions (like, literally nothing), you’d succeed in finishing your work, zero procrastination. But this isn’t practical. We live in the tech era, if you forgot.

I wouldn’t suggest you downloading procrastination-free apps or something as such (though they can be useful, but they have their own flaws and CAN be cheated). Instead, try to think really hard.

Remind yourself what is at stake. Like a paper that is due the next day or a project goal you need to submit by midnight. Get to know yourself. Can you do it if you procrastinate? Are you capable enough?

Well if you budge a yes to these questions, you’re free to procrastinate. But what is at stake is quality work . If you stay up till midnight and get the work till it chokes you, sorry, but you won’t get your work done either.

So, remind yourself what you’ll be losing if you procrastinate. Then you’d be afraid to do whatever it is you’re doing.

Couple of other inputs you can try-

  • Try to go for non-tech options: Like resources or something, you can use books or papers from library. You can turn towards your laptop when you really feel you need it.
  • Sit in supervision: Don’t ask someone to superintend you, just go sit somewhere in a place where there are people. You could work on your pc, and you’d feel a “fake” pressure of completing your work, because you don’t wanna show the other person that you’re a total waste, and you wouldn’t want them to see that your work process is really sloppy.
  • Keep a water bottle beside: Really helps when you think you’re going to fall asleep. We tend to procrastinate when we don’t have a lot of energy and are entering a state where we don’t want to do a SINGLE THING. Drinking water gives your brain some activity and plus, it’s a good skincare hack. (Glowing skin like BTS hehe.)
  • Learn to take a break: You never really procrastinate when you’ve already had your dose of break. You procrastinate because either you don’t want to do that task or you’re longing for a break. Breaks help you to solve both the problems. Cut off procrastination, just like that.

So, that’s it for this week, readers!

Also, I’m gonna be launching a new blog series in a while, but before I can write, I’ll need your participation! Stay tuned for the post!

Not-so-daintily loving you,

Divi.

Everything you need to know about journaling: My perspective, how I’m doing it and tips!

My graphic designing skills are sitting in a cringe bin, what’s happening!?

Let’s face it, Journaling is the new trend. It’s the new aesthetic everyone is going for. But what’s making it different is how unique everyone’s take on it is.

What is a Journal?

A journal is a book to store memories and reflections about anything you wish. It could be a day’s log, an account of an important/memorable event. You could maintain a journal of practically any sort- Art, scrapbook journal, a study journal (though I’m not sure what that is), a self reflective or even a private one!

I started a self-reflective cum scrapbook journal, and so far, it’s going great!

Why maintain a journal in the first place?

You know what, I’m not sure either. Why do it in the first place? Why not just jot it down in your notes app or something? Because there’s a special joy to it! Trying to visualize or think of how your today’s journal entry is going to be has a kick to it! What ever you do with your own damn hands is divine, especially during these days when everything is inside a virtual world.

*boken brones, yes that’s what I wrote.*

What do you need?

That’s the million dollar question. What do you need to maintain a journal?

A book and a pen, if you want to keep it simple.

A whole art shop if you’re willing to go overboard.

I chose a notebook I had, sitting in a corner of my *utterly littered* bookshelf. It seemed okay to make-do for the time being. And the rest, was just newspapers, lettering, old gift sheets, and some old sheets of paper.

Tips to keep in mind before you begin-

Do not be misled by Pinterest.

They seem pretty, they seem aesthetic. DON’T BE MISLED.

All sorts of stuff shown on pinterest.

The thing with Pinterest is that all creators are in an attempt to get more clicks on their pins. Pinterest is solely image based and the creators are making their pins look more and more and more attractive. Why wouldn’t they, if it’s visually appealing, who wouldn’t click?

I’m not saying it’s bad, it’s just not doable. Not at the very starting. And you see that amount of glue and paper and the setup they make for shooting Pinterest videos? It’s not economically or environmentally efficient. So I suggest you to try and recycle things. But I can say this with a hand on my chest, truthfully, that Pinterest is great for gaining inspiration.

Things you could do-

  • Make your own stickers and decorations
  • Try to re-use old papers/newspapers (did I tell you that old brown paper bags make good aesthetic material?)
  • Avoid buying decorative and the so called fancy stuff; SUPPORT YOUR BUDGET!
Write it for your satisfaction

Don’t do it for the sake of doing it. If you want to do it passionately, spend your time in doing it. Your time is invaluable.

Get inspiration from everywhere!

Get INSPIRED. Get CREATIVE.

Do things that will make you want to write for your journal. Go out, somewhere different. Have a picnic with yourself, or read something thoughtful. And then you’d feel like writing about it in your book!

You could read a post about gaining writing inspiration here.

What is Journaling going to do for you?

Jumping to the next part; how is it beneficial?

Improve your writing-

Frequent writing will surely help you get better at it. I myself feel impacted by writing frequently. This is not only applicable to journaling, but can be used in any field. I personally feel that frequently writing for my blog has improved the quality and depth in my content. Also, journal is a no-nonsense book, so you’ll feel compelled to write insightful things in it.

(before you come and attack me using so many paper cuttings in the above picture- THEY’RE ALL RE-USED.)

Breeds optimism-

Journals help you to gather motivating stuff from all around. Especially if you’re maintaining a self reflective journal. The name says it all, you reflect yourself. You begin to understand yourself and find out areas you can improve. And in turn, you take it all positively. You look forward for another day full of experiences, how happy does it sound!

Very Happy.

Isn’t it getting cheesy now?

Peace o mind

I have no right to talk about having peace of mind. I don’t have any stress weighing on my head, but in a generic way, you’d feel calm when you write about your day. And how peaceful does writing seem to you? Very. And, along with peace, you’re also breeding insightfulness, when you’re thinking about yourself deeply. But it’s not necessary to write deeply.

What can I say, I’m very shallow.

Reminiscing

This is the best part, remembering memories of the past. Now imagine, after 10 years or so, you’re maintaining a journal right now, upon reading it in the future, it’s all very nostalgic. Flipping through all those pages, with so many memories and stories, imagine!


I hope you enjoy reading this post, it was just an effort to share what I have learnt. Both positive and negative, lol. The main aim isn’t to get you into maintaining a journal, I intend to make you think of yourselves even more and record it somewhere. Self-love is the best therapy, give yourself time.

Before you go, check out the blog’s Pinterest, there’s lot’s to go around!

Not-so-daintily loving you,

Divi.

P.S.- Please do not compare my images to pinterest, lol 😛

P.P.S- I recently read a post on journaling by Maya, she has some great tips too, you could check it out here.

Writing inspo for everyone: tips, ideas and suggested reading!

Writing is brilliant and marvelous way to express what we’re feeling, write right? But then, not everyone can write. I do not mean this in the terms of being literate or illiterate. I am speaking in terms of skill.

No one is a skillfully trained professional when they begin to write. Maybe in future the writer might become a professional, or may not. The point is whether you begin to write or not. I began as a crap writing kid too. I still write crap, but you could make some exceptions.

But sometimes, we’re not motivated or inspired enough to begin writing. Could be a writer’s block or could be procrastination. So if you feel the same way, here’s some inspiration and a piece of wisdom for everyone! Plus, you could do well with some suggested reads!

1. Think of what EXACTLY you want to write.

You need to have a starting point right? So if you want to begin writing or you’re feeling a bit bored about writing, you need to first think of what you want to write. For example, the moment I am drafting this post, it’s raining outside. It’s damp and chilly and I feel great at the moment. I could put the scenic imagery into a poem or a nice story and add some twists to it!

A few ideas:

2. Maintaining an Idea/thoughts journal
Photo by Natasha Fernandez on Pexels.com

Ideas are like butterflies. One moment they’re here, the next moment they fly away. I got the idea of drafting this post at 10 PM, right before I went to bed! I got my notebook and wrote down the things I wanted to write in this post. You could start a journal for your ideas or just simply reserve a page in your diary. We all have lightening thoughts for a second, but the next moment we forget them. So, it’s nice to write it down somewhere. I have a page in my notebook called the idea panel-whenever I get an idea, i write it down on the page. When I don’t have ideas I look back and borrow inspiration from that!

It’s a simple system, ain’t it?

3. Notice little things more

Now that’s a writer’s essence, noticing little things. I ain’t asking you to be Sherlock. Just be a person who knows what they’re doing and where they live. You sit in a place everyday, but it is possible that you might not be able to describe it to the tiniest details. For writing, you don’t need to lose people in your life to write a sad poem or fall in love to write a love story. Just take little things that happen in your life and gain inspiration.

I suggest you reading Ruskin Bond’s stories, the imagery is on point. He writes about the basic simplicities of life, and there he is, one of the most celebrated authors. Makes you think, huh?

4. Read more, to write more.

An advice that any writer would give you. Read.

If you don’t read, kiss goodbye to writing anything. Reading grows the seeds of thought is your mind. It not only grows your imagination but also improves your vocabulary. When I began reading, heck, the first page of the book overwhelmed me. All those big, un-pronounceable and fancy words are mind-boggling. I never knew what ‘sagacity’ or ‘jingoistic’ meant. Until I googled it up, of course. How’d I come across these words? In the city of Oz? No, I read it somewhere. The power of words…

I suggest you to read Malgudi Days by R.K. Narayan. It was a tough first read, I understood only half the words. That is my vocabulary anyway, might be different for you. But you cannot know all of the words, can you?

That was… my lecture? I feel awkward while writing advice pieces. I’m not an intellectual. I’m just jotting down random thoughts. But again, these are surefire tips that will guarantee writing inspiration!

When I finished writing this post, I questioned myself, “Do I know how to write?”. I seriously did! So what do you think…

…Do I know how to write?

Play around with your answers! I need quirky replies. That was the Question of the post!

Not-so-daintily loving you,

Divi.

*I’m willing to read your written pieces too! If you’ve got any poem, prose, a short paragraph (which you think is applicable to the blog theme), send it my way! I’d be happy to select a few (you know, if I receive anything at all) entries and display it on my blog under the tag “Writers’ essence” and aim all credits to you. You could drop a message to my mailbox or drop it here*

Notions I trashed that helped me boost positivity!

Hello! How is everyone’s day going? Positive, I hope. We’re all in a bad phase in life, a bit of optimism is what we need. Lockdown started out pretty hard but we all just made the best out of it. Honestly, let’s look at the brighter side; Family dinners together, binge watching favorite movies at home, having little picnics and garden parties at home; ah, so wonderful!

Enough of cheesy talk though. Onto today’s post!

As I said, positivity is the need of hour. So I did some self-renovation. I figured there were a few thoughts that weren’t worth keeping in my head, so guess what, I trashed them.

-Everyone’s having a better life.

I have this feeling, this insecurity that everyone is somehow, having a better life than me. The truth is harsh. Turns out people have worse ways to live. Comparing myself to to others was one of the worst thing I ever did. I always thought that everyone has a perfect life. From the coolest kid in the class to the closest friend I have, I particularly compared my problems to theirs. Little did I know that everyone has misery, but not everyone shows it.

-Nobody needs me!

Ah, turns out some people do. This is a sort of feeling where you don’t realize the feeling until the moment approaches. I said these words when I was 11. I guess I got into a fight or something. I was angry, sad and scared. We say piercing words when we’re angry. Over time, I found the right friends who made me feel special. My parents always made me feel wanted, since the beginning. As I always say, Time makes a difference.

-People are copying me

People copying me always made me sad. Not jealous or mad, but sad. Sad because people are forgetting their true essence, their true interests. Everyone, literally everyone has someone who is copying them. I was totally bothered with people copying me or being like me, but then I had my mom saying, “In turn you must be happy! People are trying to be like you. It turns out you’re better!”. So yeah, I bothered about trashed it. There are so many people trying to look like Taylor Swift and sing like her, and she just wears all of it SO WELL.

But again, I try to talk to people I REALLY care about, regarding this. And they understand me. The others, well, don’t bother.

-People care about you

Wrong again. Turns out most of them don’t. You do something wrong once, people talk about it. The next day, list out one person who remembers anything. So we’re just an item to talk about. But people’s opinion doesn’t change the truth. What changes the truth is, us, when we act upon it. And I feel truly happy about trashing this game-changing notion. Instead, do something to impress the loved-ones. They’ll be super proud, right?

When there aren’t any useless thoughts dangling in our mind, there is lot more place for optimism. You start looking at everything in a different way. I hope this post has helped you and is speaking to you directly. Take these words from experience :-)

*Questions welcome! I'm kinda planning to do a Q and A post soon (or maybe later, who knows), so if y'all have any questions, literally any thing, about me, blogging, school life- drop a message, here! Looking forward to answering and writing!*

Inconsistency. (Plus, a tip from me)

Inconsistency, my god. Such a drag. I’m not only a procrastination expert but super inconsistent too. If you feel I’m exaggerating, honey, I’m not. I’m stating pure facts. I try to keep up a good habit but eventually I get lazy. After all, this is ‘me’ we’re talking about.

Still don’t believe me? Let me narrate you a small extract from my totally spontaneous life.

I was totally getting confused about keeping my sister’s and my room (hereafter referred to as ‘our room’ ) clutter free. I had to reduce things in our room, at least to prevent myself from tripping over the toys and literally un-name-able objects lying on the floor.

One fine day, I said to myself “This is it. Do or die, I have to get rid of stuff”. Sometimes, we need to be hard on ourselves, shouldn’t we? That’s my super motivated self.

So I officially made the room clutter-free, or maybe for the next 7 days. I enjoyed that feeling of emptiness, of not tripping over your own stuff and positive vibes. “Feng-Shui is working pretty well”, I said and soon I jinxed our room. I tried to maintain the room the same way for what, the next two days {Not even a week} and I got tired {!!!}. Myself doesn’t like me working so hard, so I left it. Again, one fine day, all the clutter and crap piles up an I have to work my butt off.

You see the circle?

My parents keep telling me about being consistent. But boy, did I ever listen?

No.

Unless we tell ourselves that we need to be consistent, no matter who lectures us, we’re nowhere to be working consistently. To be honest, I still haven’t figured this out myself. But one thing that seems to work is reaffirmation. I set alarms from time to time to remind myself about some little things that slip away from my mind easily. One for doing my chores, one for reading and another for taking C Vitamin, maybe? Think about it.

So I’m always trying to remind myself that I need to do things regularly. Like exercising. I like doing it, but I’d be like ” I’m just not in the mood to do it”. That is the lamest excuse ever. So self-motivation is super important.

Take these words from a non-expert but an insightful teen.

Happy Saturday! {I couldn’t put it at the start of the post because it didn’t fit the theme of the paragraph.}

I still haven’t taken my C-Vitamin. I better go to it.

How do you try to stay consistent with any new hobby you pick up? You’ve got any additional tips to suggest? Feel free to drop a message to my mailbox divyagunnabathula@gmail.com or leave it in the comments!

Love,

Divi.

*Questions welcome! I'm kinda planning to do a Q and A post soon (or maybe later, who knows), so if y'all have any questions, literally any thing, about me, blogging, school life- drop a message, here! Looking forward to answering and writing!*

The world is too fast: Trying to cope up with the world.

Happy Saturday!

This week passed by way too fast! And it’s Saturday already. Speaking of fast, Don’t you sometimes feel that the world’s moving too fast? That everyone except you is racing ahead? I feel like that every once in a while.

I’m a very competitive person who always wants to be in limelight, always on top. Whether it’s school, sports, arts or anything. I can’t bear the thought of not being on the podium. I made a confession.

Recently, the world’s been a bit too much for me. Not only for me, basically everyone, even you who’s reading it. I’ve picked up so many new things, but I just don’t know if I’m supposed to be proud about it or feel like an idiot because someone has already done it before me. My crackhead brain just doesn’t understand the fact. Well, until recently.

Someone has already read that book before me; someone has already written that; they’ve scored better than me; if only I couldve done that too– I have myself to blame and someone else to cry about it. Don’t call it jealousy, just don’t. I’d like to call it motivation that is uncalled for. {okay, okay. I did that to make myself feel better about me being jealous 🙆‍♀️.}

What I didn’t see before is that comparing ourselves to others actually gives motivation. Children ask their parents not to compare them to some other kid who is ‘doing better’. Now I see it. I guess we actually somehow take it to heart and try to impress our parents. Motivation, just not in the way we want it.

You see your friend’s scoring well, maybe better than you; another friend who can sing or draw better than you. Then you’ll have a small question somewhere in that corner of your heart, “what do they have that I don’t? “. Honestly, the number of times I’ve asked this question to myself is UNHEALTHY.

I guess age brings deeper thoughts to us. I feel quite older than I was the past year. It’s silly. But I’ve started thinking a lot, about things, lately. I’ve {kind of} understood that there is no point in trying to find someone else in ourselves. If we do, then there is no point in being us.

And we don’t have to do something that no one has done before. My brain got this fact inside itself only a few weeks ago. I always tried to invent some new thing and become the first person to do and blah blah stuff. Stupid right? Keeping my stupidity aside, I just wanted to say that as long as we find what we’re doing, new and exciting, we don’t actually need to worry about the world. I write because I fall in love with it everytime i pick up my pen and notebook.

I’m still overwhelmed with the world though.

do you have such opinions about the world too? What do you do? Feel free to drop a message to my mailbox divyagunnabathula@gmail.com or leave it in the comments!

Tschüss.

That’s the only word I know in German.

Love,

Divi🖤.

*Questions welcome! I'm kinda planning to do a Q and A post soon (or maybe later, who knows), so if y'all have any questions, literally any thing, about me, blogging, school life- drop a message, here! Looking forward to answering and writing!*